Christine, Wondering

Random Musings of a Human Becoming

Thursday, August 14, 2008


This afternoon I found myself absolutely bawling my eyes out to C-the-teacher and one of the aides. I'm just feeling dreadful today. I'm tired despite having gone to bed early, I'm hormonal and cranky, I feel stupid and incompetent, and I miss S so badly that I can barely move. So I cried and cried instead. I don't know what to do with myself. I want to sit down and eat a box of chocolates or a big serve of icecream, but I mustn't and I won't. I have to find some other way to cope but I can't seem to think straight. There has to be some way to get a grip on my emotions and feel positive again. There has to be.


I would try to find some other ways to pamper myself: a hot bath, my favourite film, etc. For me, it also helps if I go through emails that mean a lot to me for a reason or other (khm, love letters, or the like).
Thanks guys :-)

I'm feeling a lot better today. I did indeed pamper myself with a bath! And I've been making sure to look after myself and had a good day at school today.

I still miss S like crazy, but I'm getting there.
Next time this happens, try this. Go into a room, sit down and chant:

I am okay.
I am loved.
I have a family that loves me.
My boyfriend loves me.
I have 2? 3? College Degrees
I'm a teacher.
My cat loves me.
I am losing weight.
I am sticking to my diet.
I have accomplished so much.
I am accomplishing so much.
I am a good person.
People like me.

And just keep chanting the positives of what is going on. I recently had a panic attack for the first time in years and by listing everything I had accomplished it got me out of it quickly.

If you let the thoughts continue instead of an emotion it becomes a mood and is harder to get out.

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