Christine, Wondering

Random Musings of a Human Becoming

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Frustration at the desperate . . .

I’m taking a moment away from my assignment to share an irritation that’s been getting to me for a while now.

I’m a member of several online dating sites, one of which I’ve paid for, the rest of which are free memberships. I’ve joined these sites not because I’m desperate to find love, but because I mope if I’ve got no prospect of finding it at any given time. So I keep my profiles up, enjoy getting some attention here and there, talk to the occasional semi-interesting guy, and basically keep myself connected to the world in a way that just might work (I met Daniel on one of the sites, after all, and while that didn’t work out there’s nothing to say that the next one won’t!).

So anyway, my profiles on the various sites are pretty specific about one thing I won’t compromise on in a partner. While I don’t care about the background, education, career etc of my friends – I’m as happy chatting to a friend who didn’t finish high school as I am chatting to one with a PhD – when it comes to a life partner, it matters. I value my tertiary education and experience highly, and I need a partner who not only also values tertiary education (as you can value it without having it), but who has been through the experience of attaining a university degree and moving in to a professional career. I’ve tried pretending that it didn’t matter, and it was a disaster every time. It’s a personal value, I don’t expect others to necessarily agree with it, but for me it’s non-negotiable.

And I make this very clear in my profiles. On some sites I’ve written it in my description of what I’m looking for; other sites have a drop-down box where you can choose the education level you’re looking for in a partner. You can even rank the importance of it on some sites.

So why, when I’ve written and selected and flagged the fact that I’m only looking for a university educated partner, do I get dozens of winks/kisses/flirts etc from guys whose education level is ‘high school’ or ‘trade qualification’?! It drives me nuts. Especially when these guys send little messages saying something like “I’ve read your profile carefully and I think I might be what you’re looking for”. CLEARLY DIDN’T READ THAT CAREFULLY, DID YOU?!


So that’s today’s frustration. I simply don’t understand the philosophy behind messaging someone who has already stated uncompromisingly that they won’t be interested in you. It doesn’t make sense to me, and it’s disappointing to find that I have received a wink/kiss/flirt then look at it to discover that it’s been a waste of time. Not that I don’t get plenty of contacts from guys who are eligible - I do get lots - but the wasted ones frustrate me.

Back to the land of Maths Curriculum Assignment 1b . . .


Off topic, but, just wanted to wish you a Happy Easter, and good luck in your new home.
Miss seeing your name pop up on BTN, as I always enjoyed your postings.
Best wishes,
Thanks Tassiegirl! Nice to see you dropping by.


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