Christine, Wondering

Random Musings of a Human Becoming

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

You're not going to believe this . . .

. . . but I'm homesick for Sydney.


Not homesick for living in Sydney, mind - nothing on this earth could persuade me to go back to living there - just for being there.

I miss the energy of the city. I miss being able to just jump on a bus and go and walk around the Opera House, Circular Quay, the Harbour Bridge, The Rocks. I miss the old buildings and the fountains and the statues. I miss the luxurious antique grace of the Queen Victoria Building. I miss the monorail and the double-decker trains and the ferries. I miss the mountains and I miss the rocky river shores. I miss the endless fascination of it all.

When I consider it, what I'm really missing is the fact that I never really got to enjoy Sydney. I was so unhappy and depressed and broke and lonely the whole time I was there. I never had anyone to share it with, to point and say "isn't that cool!", to go on adventures with. Not to say that I didn't enjoy the time I did spend with friends I made there or friends who visited me there, but those were rare interludes. The rest of the time, it was just me, and no matter how much you enjoy a touristy experience while alone, you're still alone. You're still silent.

I think it's the Christmas season that's brought on this feeling. Sydney was wonderful at Christmas. The incredible moving wooden displays in the windows of Myer; the spectacular giant Christmas tree in QVB, with ten thousand Swarovski crystals for ornaments; the heady cameraderie of Carols in the Domain; all of it. And I wandered through it all like a lonely ghost, my heart full of what I was seeing but without a single soul to share it.

Of course, if I was to fly there for a holiday tomorrow, I'd still be experiencing it alone; and I suspect that if I had someone special to share things with, the beauty of Perth at Christmas would be more than sufficient. But I'm not and I haven't and it isn't, and thus I am discontent.

Don't get me wrong, I love WA to bits and I'd rather live in Perth than any other city in the world; but I just . . . wish.


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