Must . . . not . . . eat . . .

I've been dieting for a week, and this is the first day I've really felt insanely tempted to eat too much. I've done something-or-other to my shoulder and it's very painful and clicky, and that old habit is shrieking: "Fix it with chocolate! Fix it with milo! Fix it with cheese! Eat! Eat! Eat!".

I musn't eat. I mustn't give in, I'll regret it so badly if I do. I'm trying to break a habit of decades and my body is fighting me every step of the way. I wish there was such a thing as calorie-free chocolate! Or that I had some diet coke in the house. Or that there was somewhere still open in town where I could buy some (there is nowhere open in town at all right now!). I really, really, really want something sweet and guilt-free. Yargh!

Ahh well. I've still got 6 points today, so I will have a bit of a snack before bedtime, and I can probably make it a tasty one - a couple of slices of bread with nutella maybe. But if I eat it now I'll be hungry later and even more tempted to break my points limit, so I just have to wait.

I'm glad I'm dieting, and I'm glad I'm able to be so conscious and conscientious about what I'm eating. I'm also glad that I've reached a level of emotional and spiritual health where I can look my emotional eating in the face and say "no more". The griping is just the hunger talking. I am SO looking forward to seeing what I look like when I've lost 10kg, and even more when I've lost the whole 25kg. Photos I can bear to look at! Clothes I can be proud of wearing! Size 12 (or maybe even 10)! Bathers! Energy! And so many other things to look forward to at the end. I've just got to keep on . . . and on . . . and on . . .