Calling It.

As I talked about in that guest blog, it is very hard for me to ask for help or speak out when I have needs. Tied with this fear of making a fuss is a fear of saying anything that might sound the least bit dramatic or attention-seeking. Which makes this so very hard to say.

I'm depressed.

There, I said it

I'm not coping, I'm exhausted and miserable and I can't sleep properly and I feel utterly overwhelmed. It's a fact. It is what it is. I have depression.

I'm struggling for a way to get treatment for this. I need to see a doctor but it's so hard to get an appointment. I need to see a counsellor but I can't afford anything other than a charity-based one and I seem to be having trouble finding one and the stupid people at uni where I get free counselling can't seem to figure out a way around the fact that I can't come for a short triage session of a morning. I'm getting frantic because getting help seems to be caught up in bureaucracy right when I can least cope with it.

Why is it all so hard?