2008, The Closing Scene

A cool breeze - more like a gale - did finally come up, and that combined with washing my hair had pretty much taken care of the headache. But it was still bugging me a little, so I thought I'd go and take another dose of painkillers, since the others should have worn off by now. I went to find the glass I'd used . . . and discovered that I never took the first lot. The little glass of aspirin dissolved in water was still sitting there, entirely un-drunk.

No wonder they didn't help, and no wonder I had no specific memory of what time I took it - I didn't take it!

I've taken them now, and hopefully the much-abated headache will shortly be gone for good.

So . . . 45 minutes left of 2008. What a year! I've come so unbelievably far this year, and learned so much. I've done things I never imagined I would do, both good and bad. I've gone from a position of great weakness and doubt to such strength and confidence. And I've shrunk by 9kg :) I've finally finished playing the best friend in the movie of my own life (to quote "The Holiday"). I've been through the emotional wringer and come out calmer than I've ever been. It's been great. It's been terrible. It's been both at once.

To quote Dickens, who had rather a way with words:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it ws the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way."

I have plenty of hopes and aspirations for 2009. Here are some of them, edited from my post on GPYP:

I’m going to spend the year standing up for myself and doing what is right for me. I’m not going to do things that aren’t right for me, even if people try emotional blackmail. No more crazy dances. No more reactivity.

I’m going to spend the year believing in my ability to explore my interests. That means being whole-hearted in my teaching, playing in a concert band, singing in a choir, joining a writers' group, studying hard and living well.

I’m going to learn how to have ‘down time’ again. I have to give back my education department laptop so this is a good time to learn to just BE rather than spending huge blocks of time dithering on the internet while half-watching the TV. I’ll still have my PC and I’ll still have my TV but they are going to be separate and they are going to be limited.

I’m going to lose the rest of the weight I need to lose. I’ve lost 9kg so far and if I can just stick to the weight watchers plan consistently until July I will have lost the remaining 20kg that will put me at the absolute perfect weight for my height. I’m going to be slender again in 2009 and I’m going to stay that way.

Bananaheads will not happen next year. If men happen, they will not be bananaheads.

Above all, I hope 2009 is just a little bit easier than 2008 has been. I'm intensely grateful for all of the soul-growth I've experienced this year, but . . . I can has brake naow? Pleez?

To all my readers, whether you're regulars or passers-by: Happy New Year! And may 2009 be filled with love, wellness, satisfaction, hope and opportunity beyond your wildest dreams.

With all the very best of love,
Signing off for 2008,
Christine.

See you in 2009!

RIP Phyllida.