Christine, Wondering

Random Musings of a Human Becoming

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Not Hiding.

Warning: Very Serious Personal Revelations Ahead. May Not Be Comfortable Reading For Some.

One of my goals for this year is to live a 100% authentic life. I no longer care to hide and suppress elements of my personality just because others may not understand or approve.

Being open about my faith was one of these things. People have to accept that I am a Christian (whether they like it or not) or get out of my way, period. I've discovered a few people who think I'm a nut, but mostly people have been supportive and appreciative about it. I've got so comfortable about it now that I can drop the words "and on Sunday after church" or whatever into a sentence without self-consciousness.

There is another thing I want to be open and unselfconscious about, and unfortunately in many peoples' minds it will be completely incompatible with the aforementioned Christian faith. I don't believe it is, but revealing it may mean that some of my strongest Christian friends will pull away.

Still, I'm not hiding any more. Come what may, the friends that accept me for all of who I am are the ones that truly matter.

Which is why I'm putting out there the fact that I am bisexual. I first realised I was when I was 19, but that was an "oh duh" moment; the attraction to women as well as men had been there for as long as I could remember.

I have told only a handful of people this fact, and only in the past year. But I'm really tired of people not knowing. And I'm really tired of believing that I have to keep it a secret because I don't want to rock the boat, or put people off, or because having kids was my ultimate goal and that's so much harder in a girl-girl relationship.

Enough hiding. I am who I am. Wherever it takes me and whatever it means.

Ironically, I suspect that in the balance of things the majority will be more tolerant of my sexuality than my faith . . . *sigh* What a strange postmodern world this is!


Congrats for having the courage to say it! I'm praying that others are accepting and supportive of you :)
Good for you for saying it! People from my past know that I am bisexual, but my current boyfriend doesn't and I fear that if he did, it would push him away.
Congratulations Christine for having the courage and strength to be yourself! You are not alone.

I stopped concealing my bisexuality a little while ago and to be honest I have never been happier... none of my true friends have gone away and I have found love and happiness with someone similarly openminded... good things happen to people who are themselves.

Will be thinking about you in your classrooms whilst I sit in my office this winter/summer counting numbers... take care :-)

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